Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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