we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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