I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
