I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
