i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
BRING THE BAGELS
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
