Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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