how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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