Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
