Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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