I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
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Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
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everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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