where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
