Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
