sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
