And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
