Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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