If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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