it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
