i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
