The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
