Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
