her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
