Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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