ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
