I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
