Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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