you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
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