You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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