help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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