I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
