woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize