Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
