very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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