maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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