This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
