i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
