if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
