We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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