Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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