he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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