An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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