Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
