me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
