youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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