I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize