Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
