They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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