talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
