I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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