There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize