What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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