Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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