I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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