Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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