The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I didn't notice because vodka
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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