Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
