worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
