He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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