Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
