Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
