Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
