if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
