I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
