and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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