Need sex. Gaining weight.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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