Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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