I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Quick, to the slutcave!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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