Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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